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How can couples reverse the buildup of resentment once they notice it?

Last Updated: 19.06.2025 21:28

How can couples reverse the buildup of resentment once they notice it?

By giving up the notion that someone has to “win” or that anyone loses by saying “you are right”, “I am sorry”, or “I can do better.”

By deciding to stop with the criticism and the nagging and instead say thank you for everything you do for me. Thank you for loving me.

By resolving to listen with curiosity rather than defensiveness.

What's your love story?

By learning to validate what the other is feeling. “I can absolutely see why you feel this way.”

By wanting to truly understand each other, despite feeling unheard.

By taking turns talking.

I'm looking for an answer from people who consider themselves "Gender Critical", or transphobic, or TERFs, and my question is this - Why would you refuse to use the pronouns someone wants? What does it cost you? Where's the harm?

By internalizing that responding with kindness is strength, not weakness.

By keeping in mind it’s OK to have different opinions and different experiences, and they both matter in equal measure.